There are some beautiful beaches in the world that have hidden dangers. When water floods sand below the surface, the sand particles get pushed apart. The result is a muddy mixture of the two that can't support the weight of a person. When someone walks over it, they sink down. It's a trap known as quicksand. As the person sinks down, it pushes the water out creating a vacuum effect that secures its victim tighter and tighter. Sometimes it only takes moments to absorb someone into a desperate situation.
This is what pornography does to millions every day. It starts simple enough without any sign of danger, a movie on cable or the click of the mouse. We tell ourselves there's nothing wrong with it, or perhaps it's not that bad, even though we keep it secret. Pretty soon what started as “controllable” and “here and there” turns into a habit, deeper and deeper. But the user is not the only one affected. The consequences for our society as a whole is alarming. Knowing the dangers and taking them seriously will allow us to avoid getting ensnared. The fate of the next generation depends on us.
It's a simple click away at all times. It is the number one temptation facing all adult men. If allowed to fester in our lives, porn slowly erodes not only our rational senses but our very souls. A marriage is diseased when outside sexual influences work their way into it, and as those influences progress, the marriage falls deeper and deeper into despair.
Addiction
I have not talked to a single man who has watched porn habitually that said it was easy to stop. Even in spite of an intense desire to live porn free because of how it was affecting their lives in a negative way, every guy I've talked to has said it was a “struggle.” Many have not even been able to quit. They are slaves serving a master.
Ruined Relationships
Intimate relationships demand an investment of time and energy. It involves sacrifice and vulnerability. All of those things are difficult. Porn is a cheap and quick way to avoid all of that in order to get a momentary rush of similar feelings that intimacy brings. The problem is that the desires that would be found in a relationship are replaced by porn. Sex becomes a selfish pursuit of recreating scenes from movies (if it doesn't disappear altogether). The sexual relationship gets cheapened when connection ceases to be the goal. Couples drift apart, particularly as most of the viewing is done in secret. A 2003 poll of 350 attorneys specializing in divorce at the American Academy of Matrimony Lawyers revealed that a large amount of their divorce cases involved one person with compulsive porn use. It's playing with fire.
Supporting Human Trafficking
Every click to a porn website contributes to destroying lives. Even most of those who have willingly entered into the porn industry speak of being coerced to do hurtful things they never wanted to do. One of the most popular male porn stars of all time gave a personal account to the website Fight the New Drug. In it, he said, “I had to go to work so I could do the porn; so that I could buy the drugs to bury the pain from doing the porn; And around and around it went.” Even worse, porn fuels the demand for prostitution, many of whom are victims of human trafficking. In a 2003 study, 854 human traffic survivors were surveyed and it showed that 50% were forced to do pornography.
The Next Generation
Boys and girls are exposed to pornography early and get hooked. Finding a teenager who has not been exposed to porn is a nearly impossible task. They are being taught about sex and sexuality from what they see on the Internet and graphic video games. They play at being sexual by sending and posting naked pictures to one another and performing sex acts as early as age eleven. They do all of this without the brain development to understand the long-term consequences. It's contributing to the destruction of a generation deficient in what it means to build intimacy.
The problem is us. Adults have told them what to be. Adults produce the material and market to kids. Adults have sexualized them and they are simply molding to the culture we have formed and approved. According to Homeland Security Investigations, child exploitation cases continue to jump higher and higher. Last year, the number one search term among porn was “teen.” That should shock our collective conscience, but I fear as a society we may have burned it away.
True Passion is Nullified
Great marital sex has little to do with technique, stamina, or experience. The genuine passion built up between two people in love connecting in the highest physical form of intimacy is what makes for great marital sex. This is difficult to achieve even without porn introduced into the equation. Children, stress, and busyness all take their toll on genuine passion. Pornography will outright destroy it. In studies, many women will say they don't feel that their porn-addicted husband is truly present when they make love.
Ridiculous Expectations
Porn is a multi-billion dollar per year industry. It has to be visually exciting and instantly grab your attention to be successful. It's entertainment performed by actors. Just as your marriage and family life is much different than a 30-minute sitcom, the same applies to your sex life. When we fill our minds with the false images of porn, we naturally take those expectations with us to the bedroom. This leads to disappointment for the husband and a wife with a wrecked self-esteem.
The Loss of Trust and Intimacy
Most, if not all, wives (if they are being honest), consider their husband viewing pornography as cheating. Another woman, even just her image, has been introduced into your relationship and she's now having to compete with it. Continual viewing of porn will erode the trust built in your marriage until it is gone completely. Meanwhile, the ability to actually feel intimacy together will wear away at the exact same pace as the trust.
Creates Shame and Emptiness
A husband addicted to porn will justify his actions to himself. He'll find blame to place on his wife or his life but what he's really trying to cover up is the shame he's feeling. The best way to explain this is to imagine the best sex ever had with your wife and the euphoria that accompanied it afterward. Porn has no chance of ever producing that feeling. It's not real and it leaves only shame and emptiness after the fact.
Progressively Worse and Unsatisfying
Addictions all work the same way. As they progress, you need more and intensified versions of your addiction. In time, no matter how much is consumed, that satisfied feeling felt in the beginning can never be reached. A porn addict is no different than a drug addict, in that they are both desperately trying to find that high that keeps eluding them. In the end, the addict will either seek help or watch his life fall apart piece by piece. There is hope in the resiliency of the soul. For the sake of all involved, shut the porn down.